Why Comparing Your Growth to Others Can Harm You
October 20, 2014
“Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides…”
So you have been doing BJJ for a couple of years now. And it seems that your contemporaries have managed a little bit more mileage that you have. It’s true. While searching on facebook, or the latest BJJ news websites, you come across some of your former colleagues owning the field. You see these guys with whom you used to roll before they started enjoying the seemingly elaborate spotlight of BJJ. You see them rubbing elbows with the greats. And some may even be starting to make a name for themselves.
And as you continue your facebook stalking, while downing that last bag of Lay’s, you feel that you have not made any real progress. That is, if you are starting to validate your feelings properly.
So what am I pointing out? Well, whenever we know people who have set out to go where we also intend on reaching, and has done an better job of reaching their goal compared to us, we “may” (not to generalize or alienate my readership) feel the need to compare ourselves to them. But panic not. It is only human to feel the inadequacy. It is human nature to want what we cannot have, but even more human to covet what others have.
Envy is a negative feeling that one may harbor towards someone who is successful.
Tips on Getting the Right Perspective
You simply cannot play a comparison game between two individuals in the art of BJJ. Simply put, everyone is unique. You cannot say that you have achieved less because others are getting the accolades. You do not know how much work they’ve put in to reach that top.
Assess your effort
Have you been training lately? How much effort have you put in to learning? Have you tried joining tournaments? Do you reflect about your game vs. letting things “roll” (Jiu-Jitsu pun intended)? How much effort have you exerted into becoming better? Do you do read up on BJJ articles? Do you watch videos? DO YOU LISTEN to your instructor and avoid spacing out?
These are but questions that you need to answer.
Appreciate WHO you are
Count your blessings. Count your achievements. Signing up for a physically strenuous program is awesome enough. Appreciate the effort that you have already put in to the training. You are unique. You may not know this, but others are also looking at your achievements.
If you are not the type who appreciates the achievements of others, you need to start becoming one. Appreciation is a positive emotion that can easily rid you of the envy that you might be feeling. Appreciate what they have achieved. After all, they did put in a lot of effort in reaching for their goals. Inspire yourself. And using that inspiration, get off that couch and train!
Jiu-Jitsu for Everyone!